Apparently, making a list of 30 things you want to do before you’re 30 is a ‘thing’. Somebody I know on Facebook is doing it, so I Googled it to see what other people had on their lists.
I was pretty horrified. Most girls have things like:
- get married
- have a baby
- get a promotion
- achieve my target weight
- throw my partner an amazing party
- eat clean
- get my X qualification
Don’t get me wrong, (some of) those are legitimate life goals, with the emphasis on ‘life’. Some are just stupid. If you haven’t got married, had a baby and got skinny again by the age of 30, does that mean you’ve failed in life? It seems to me, that most of the lists revolved around doing things which made other people happy/content, not the person who wrote the list in the first place. Why are women putting someone else’s ideals before their own? What happens if you achieve those ‘life’ things before 30? Is your life ‘finished’? Or will it become:
- raise my family
- have grandchildren
- maintain my target weight
- be a good wife….?
It’s good to be proud of your family and your kids, but it’s also important to be proud of yourself and do things because they make you happy. Not because society dictates the fact that you ‘should have done’ certain things before you reach 30.
The girl on Facebook I noticed doing it had fun things on her list, things she’d either done before and wanted to do again, or things she’d never done but wanted to try. Other people’s lists had travel goals on there, places they wanted to see or things they wanted to experience.
I decided I’d do a list for a couple of reasons:
- my life has changed totally over the past 3 1/2 years, meaning any aspirations or life goals I had before have been radically altered or deleted completely.
- I can’t make new ones yet because I’m ‘waiting’ to see how things turn out permanently. This has taken at least 2 years so far and could still be months/years away.
- There are lots of things I could do which would fit in with my current state of health, so I want to embrace those things- even if I might need help in doing them. They might not be ‘significant’ to anyone else, but the list is for me, not other people, so who cares!
- I need some fun things to look forward to!
The other thing I realised in my Googling, was that I’ve actually done quite a lot already. I’ve gone trekking, visited a 7 Wonder of the Modern World, eaten lots of different foods, been to watch/see lots of different art forms, lived abroad, and met someone famous. That was quite a nice feeling!
My list so far is a bunch of ‘I quite fancy doing that’ activities which I think I could achieve relatively easily, taking into account my limitations. Some I can do from home, some I can’t, some are free to do, some aren’t. Some I’ve done before and want to do again. It’s supposed to be fun, to give me something else to focus on besides hospital admissions/appointments, test results and watching TV, and I’m not going to berate myself if I get to 30 and haven’t achieved them. I’ll be looking for people to join in doing some of them and am open to suggestions for things to do!